Here we go...

I am literally laughing out loud at myself as I write this.  Am I the only person in the world without a blog? Am I so much in the dark ages, so much 'set in my ways' that I am just now bringing myself to fully embrace this 'cyber-world' way of communicating?  I suppose. Or, maybe it's fear.  Fear of not knowing how to do it.  Fear that someone will read what is 'on my mind', snicker to themselves and think, "who cares...why would she take the time to type out her thoughts".  Fear of no one reading.  Fear.  What ever has kept me from this unavoidable task thus far has obviously lost momentum and my desire to tell of the wonderful workings of my Heavenly Father can be contained no longer, for here it is...my very first blog post. Here we go...

The Lord has been teaching me so much lately.  Actually, I believe He has been teaching me this for quite a while, however, it is just now that I have decided to listen. I have recently been captivated by the reality that my love for Jesus, all be it true and real, is lacking.  Lacking in depth, knowledge, abandonment, personal sacrifice and well, just lacking.  Please don't misunderstand me...I love my Savior and I know that His love is real, it is near me, it is in me. For He is near me, He is in me and He is love.  I simply continue to allow myself to be distracted and consumed by the 'stuff' of life...by the busyness of this particular season.  At least I think that is the culprit.  It couldn't possibly be that I am actually lazy when it comes to nurturing my relationship with Him...could it?  I think yes.

My attention has recently returned to a blog that I was introduced to three years ago and as soon as I can figure out how to link other blog pages to mine, this one will definitely be here.  It is a blog by a young women by the name of Katie Davis.  Her story of how Jesus is using her to make His name famous is truly amazing.  I will not go into much detail about it here, but you can google "Kisses From Katie" and you will be able to catch yourself up on what she is doing for the glory of God.  I urge you to do so.  Yesterday, as I was watching a video of Katie being interviewed by David Platt, she told about how, after being away from the US for about a year, she had 'detoxed' herself from material things.  She mentioned that she typically only has two choices for food and as she stepped foot back into an American grocery store there were twelve choices of food just for dogs.  She also made the statement that while being in Uganda, she learned to be totally dependant on God, but as she spent time back in the states she realized how easy it would be to depend on the people and things around her instead of completely on God.

Those words hit me like a ton of bricks!  To hear her say that literally took the wind from my chest.  It is so very true...how easy it is to become so dependant on our circumstances, family, material possessions, social status...earthly things, and in turn not be dependant on God.  How could this reality have been in such plain sight, yet as though walking through a thick fog, has gone unnoticed in my life.  Am I not dependant on God?  Have I not been leaning completely on His love and His Word?  Truth is, no.  I have been waking up, putting my feet to the ground, sometimes going to the Lord in prayer, sometime taking time to read a small bit of His Word and then going through life in my own strength  all the while labeling it "Spirit led".  Humbling. Convicting. Gut check time.

Here is the question that I will be pondering and crying out to the Lord for His answer...it is a question that David Platt posed at the end of his interview with Katie.  "How can I get rid of the clutter in my life that numbs my sensitivity to my need for God?".  Wow!  So simple, yet so profound.  I am confident the Lord will show me this answer.  I am thankful He has been relentless and patient with me as I have taken my own sweet time coming to see this need in my life. I pray that as I resolve to simplify the 'stuff' in my life, focus more on His daily plan for my life and be intentional to seek Him for the answers, I will see and hear Him clearly.  May His name and renown truly be the desire of my heart!

So there it is...my first blog post.  That is what is 'on my mind'. I hope it didn't put you to sleep...unless you suffer from insomnia.  If that's the case, then...you're welcome;)