Remembering Jayden...when the blink of an eye feels like an eternity.

Not enough words in the entire world to adequately describe what the actions of one evil person can do to the lives of so many people. SO many!

Devastating. Life changing. 

365 days can pass in the blink of an eye, yet feel like an eternity.

Our realities can change in one split second, and we find ourself begging God to give us that one split second back so that we can do things differently and change the outcome.

But He won’t. And we can’t.

The reality is just that...reality.

We can beg all we want, but it won’t bring that one second back. Ever. A new path is set and we just do our best to try and make sense of it all. Any part of it.

But we won’t. It makes no sense.

I always try to pull some type of encouragement from the pages of scripture when walking through a valley I never imagined I’d walk. And I try so hard to do the same for others.

The scripture is there. And the valley doesn’t make it any less true. But sometimes you don’t necessarily feel encouraged by it.

You read passages of forgiveness and love. Passages against hate. And you believe them. You believe every word. You even commit to sharing those passages of love, not hate, with those struggling with hurt, bitterness and anger. You tell them things like, “God is in control” “God has a plan”.

He is. He does.

Our earthly reality does not change heavenly Truth. BUT... our jacked up perspective of heavenly Truth sometimes prevents us from properly responding to our earthly reality. Or, it gives us a false authority to tell others how to respond to theirs. Or the opposite...others feel the right to tell us how to respond.  Spiritual pride.

We are indeed called to love. However, sometimes we love so strongly that when someone violently takes the life of the one we love, we have an overwhelming desire to take a baseball bat and beat the literal hell out of that person. 

And I wish I could. Because I would. 

If you hold tight to scripture, and you believe in God’s plan, keep believing. But don’t you dare paint it into a picture of rainbows and ponies, leaving out the demons and dragons, when you’re talking to someone who has experienced a tragic death.

365 days can pass in the blink of an eye. Yet, when you see a mama without her baby girl, and your baby girl without her very best friend, it feels like an eternity.

Remembering Jayden today, and honoring her dynamic mother, and my amazing daughter. I’ve never witnessed anything like it up close and personal before. They are strong and mighty warriors, yet delicate and broken all at the same time. May earthly justice soon be served, and fresh hope restored. One day at a time.

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

When there's no actual joy in the morning, we hold tight to the love in the mourning...

Choosing joy is a phrase that has rolled off of my lips more times than I can count, and it has been a daily habit in my life for longer than I can remember. We choose it...meaning lots of times we force our insides to will it into being. You know, "will it, until you feel it". Makes sense, right? But...every once in a while, we just kinda need a little easy joy. You know, the kind we don't necessarily have to "choose". 

One of the scriptures that I would cling to, and quote so very often, is Psalm 30:5, "...though weeping may endure for a night, joy comes with the morning". 

Hard truth: Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn't. 

Tomorrow is Valentines Day. Many will celebrate the loves in their lives. Chocolates, flowers, sweet cards, and much yummy food will be enjoyed all throughout the day. 

For some there will be "joy in the morning".

For others, the joy will remain hidden behind the weeping for a little bit longer. 

Tomorrow is the birthday of my sweet Aubri girl's very best friend. But she won't be celebrating with her bestie. Instead, she will be sitting beside Jayden's amazing mom at a memorial in her honor. No presents. No cake. No candles. No joy. Another reminder that her beautiful life was taken way too soon. The weeping will continue a little bit longer. 

However, even though the joy remains hidden for a while, there is one thing that bursts through the darkness of mourning with more force than a mighty rushing wind...

Love. So much love.

There is a love for Jayden. A love for her mom. A love for her siblings. A love for her family and friends. A strong love. A binding love. A lasting love. A healing love. 

Life on this broken planet is full of sadness and heartache; full of disappointment and fear; full of hatred and violence; full of weeping. Much weeping. But when that strong, binding, lasting, healing love floods a soul, it brings with it the very motivation needed to push through to another day. I mean, just look at this picture a sweet friend took of Jayden's mom once again comforting Aubri girl. A mom, in her own unimaginable grief, not focusing on her own heartbreak, but the brokenness of her daughter's very best friend. THAT is love. THAT is the love that propels one through another day. Another day where we hold tight to the hope that we will soon awaken on the morning which brings forth that sweet joy we read about. 

So for now, even though there may be no joy in the morning, we hold tight to the love in the mourning! 

“Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:7-8